[Gilderoy will eventually surprise friend and foe alike by emerging as the ~hero~ of the wizarding world, and while his con won't hold up for too long... at least he doesn't end up in Azkaban or dead like so many of his fellow students eventually will? He'll lose his memory of course, but those St. Mungo's healers really are quite sweet compared to dementors.]

Entirely natural! Why, I had people accuse me of having dyed my hair before... but I am a natural blond, honestly. [He smiles brightly at Sirius' question.] Perhaps I would-

EEEEEE! [An even better reaction than Sirius could've hoped for!] Oh... I thought you fell!